Codependency – Lifey

Here’s a free collection of resources about codependency- Codependency blogs, videos, support groups, first-hand experiences and advice from people who have experience with codependent relationships, etc.

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Codependency Blogs

Here’s a list of codependency blogs- blogs written by people with codependency, or about codependency.

****Email alexbalinski@gmail.com to submit your blog to this list.***

Boundaries 4 Codependents

codependentboundaries.blogspot.com

2017

Codependent Blog

codependentblog.wordpress.com

2017

Codependency Support Groups

Codependency Support Groups On Facebook

Other Codependency Support Groups And Forums

Daily Strength Codependency Support Group (1,590 members, 10,095 posts)

Codependency Survey

We’re surveying people about their experiences with codependency. Here will be a collection of their responses.

*This information is not meant to replace medical advice, and the information gathered via surveys may or may not be correct. Hopefully it will be helpful to you!

*Response format = Answer (Name, Age)

**Click here to share your experience with codependency**

Codependency Symptoms

What symptoms have you experienced?

An obsessive attachment towards someone who didn’t feel the same. (Gustavo, 30 years old)
Anxiety, C-PTSD from narcissistic relationship, emotional repression, spiritual repression, bankruptcy and financial ruin, defamation of character. (Gummi, 34 years old)
Anxiety, depression, panic. (Andrea, 36 years old)
Feeling lost. (Amy, 47 years old)
Attaches to others quickly, controlling others, neediness. (Marie B., 47 years old)
Isolation, anxiety, depression. (Don, 64 years old)

Codependency Facts

What are some facts you’ve learned about codependency?

The loss of oneself by feeling like you can’t function without that person being next to you, emotionally supporting you. (Gustavo, 30 years old)
It is a sneaky, insidious thing that can creep up on you and one moment you think everything is fine and then the veil is torn off and your world is completely different from what you thought you knew because you were too afraid to want to see, so you blinded yourself to the toxicity of the relationship. (Gummi, 34 years old)
Healthy boundaries is just that- healthy and not selfish. (Amy, 47 years old)
Being needy is a way of controlling others. It is a disease of addiction. (Marie B., 47 years old)
That it is a dependency. (Don, 64 years old)

Codependency Difficulties

What are difficult aspects of living with codependency?

The sense of being lost, completely feeling incompetent and scared when your significant other leaves you. (Gustavo, 30 years old)
Try not to project insecurities on to another person that are learned behaviours from associating with someone else. Try not to be stuck in one’s head and worries, but live in the present moment and appreciate others for who they are, not for what you fear they will become. (Gummi, 34 years old)
I keep forgetting myself, losing myself, and burning out and suffering. (Andrea, 36 years old)
Learning it’s ok to put yourself first. (Amy, 47 years old)
Trying not to need attention from certain people- feeling the withdrawals & high anxiety waiting for a text or call. (Marie B., 47 years old)
Letting go. (Don, 64 years old)

Codependency Advice

What words of encouragement/advice can you share with others who experience codependency?

We lack self, we lack self awareness and self compassion. By only doing what scares us the most is the only cure to codependency. (Gustavo, 30 years old)
You can get through this. Everything is temporary. There are so many support networks out there – surround yourself with them. Even if they’re books and podcasts – that forms part of your network! Look at articles, websites, forums, discuss. Go to therapy. Get EMDR. Most of all meditate to teach your mind to be mindful (not still !) and to let go of your mistakes and past, and be in the moment. You are ok! (Gummi, 34 years old)
Keep searching for peace focusing on yourself. (Andrea, 36 years old)
It’s a journey, not a race. Development takes time. (Amy, 47 years old)
Hang in there! Pray, read, join CODA. (Marie B., 47 years old)
Take it easy, and go to meetings. (Don, 64 years old)

Codependency Diet and Exercise

What’s been your experience with diet and exercise?

Decent. I haven’t lost the will and motivation to continue going to the gym. I don’t have depression. (Gustavo, 30 years old)
Once a toxic person is removed from your life then everything else will pick up. Being too dependent on someone else can make you compromise your own health and diet and exercise regime. Once I got rid of the toxic person I lost 10kg in 6 months and was far healthier and happier than ever as I was no longer repressed and being someone else for codependency sake. I live more authentically now. (Gummi, 34 years old)
I binge eat, I starve, and I over exercise, but mostly don’t exercise. (Andrea, 36 years old)
I recently lost 100 pounds in a healthy way. (Amy, 47 years old)
Eat healthy, and stay active. (Marie B., 47 years old)
Poor. (Don, 64 years old)

Codependency Treatments

What’s been your experience with treatments (therapy, etc.)?

I haven’t gone to any. Too poor for it. (Gustavo, 30 years old)
Learn about them, try things out. Hypnosis I was not comfortable with. I did EMDR & CBT treatments and went to anxiety therapy to learn different strategies (tapping, visualisation techniques). Go to therapy and talk things out. Talk to friends and support network as these are a type of therapy too. Meditation saved me. I found a local group and went every Tuesday night for several months. I have also practiced at home and listen to dhamma talks. I also listen to podcasts about setting boundaries and recovering from codep and narc relationships. Very good! But meditation saved me. Everything else just helped solidify it in practice. (Gummi, 34 years old)
Good experience with therapy, group therapy and art therapy. Meds have helped. (Andrea, 36 years old)
Finding the right therapist can take time. (Amy, 47 years old)
Therapy, becoming educated, and modifying behavior. (Marie B., 47 years old)
Somewhat helpful. (Don, 64 years old)

Codependency Recommendations

Anything you’d recommend for someone with codependency?

Talk about it. Write what you feel. Don’t be ashamed, don’t be scared, don’t feel you’re alone. (Gustavo, 30 years old)
Don’t be afraid of it, just acknowledge it and learn from it, forgive yourself. You will grow from this (or at least you have a chance to) once you acknowledge it and come to peace with it. Then it can be something you can grieve and allow to leave you. (Gummi, 34 years old)
Start learning about it. Start journaling, get support. (Andrea, 36 years old)
Realize you are not alone. (Amy, 47 years old)
CODA meetings, and working the steps. (Marie B., 47 years old)
Meetings and books. (Don, 64 years old)

Codependency Resources

What specific resources have you found most helpful?

Reading books like: Attached, Self Compassion, Loneliness and codependent no more. They all helped me understand what I had, how to work through it and how to work on myself. (Gustavo, 30 years old)
Buddhist Society of Western Australia. All talks by the monks there, and in particular Ajahn Brahm, whom is world-renowned. (Gummi, 34 years old)
Books, online groups, communicating with my husband. (Andrea, 36 years old)
Internet and books. (Amy, 47 years old)
Co-Dependency No More daily readings. (Marie B., 47 years old)
ACA. (Don, 64 years old)

Codependency Stories

Share an interesting experience you’ve had related to living with codependency.

I had to force my girlfriend, now ex, to join the gym with me. If she didn’t, then I wouldn’t be able to. I was seriously handicapped and my girlfriend enabled me. (Gustavo, 30 years old)
Fear that I’m the narcissist. Self-doubt. (Gummi, 34 years old)
I’ve connected and learned so much about others, and developed such empathy. (Andrea, 36 years old)
As I consciously work to put myself first, I recognize how others don’t always like it. (Amy, 47 years old)
I paid for a small bookshelf at a thrift store. When I went to get it, someone was looking at it. My gut told me to get my $5 back, and let them have it. I had to self-talk. I owe that person nothing. I need that bookshelf, and have paid for it. (Marie B., 47 years old)
My father is not in this world to live up to my expectations. (Don, 64 years old)