Common mistakes - Marriage Video Transcripts
Video 1 Transcript
One of the most common mistakes in marriage that damages the marriage is one spouse feels entitled to something. So they say, oh, my spouse doesn't appreciate x, y, z that I do. And they start to build up resentment because they think that their spouse isn't appreciating them and isn't working hard. And then they create false concepts of, oh, my spouse is this, they are lazy, they are unappreciative, they are grotty, they are, you know, x, y and z. And that damages your opinion of your spouse, which obviously is going to damage your marriage. So do everything you can to avoid feeling entitled and say, my spouse doesn't appreciate me. Instead say, how can I appreciate what my spouse does? And notice the things that they do and give genuine compliments when they're due. See something they do and appreciate them for doing that. Be genuine with them always. Never lie, but give it where it's due.
Video 2 Transcript
Some common mistakes, expecting too much out of out of the other person, too soon, you know, you spent your entire lives without each other and all of a sudden when you meet they're bound to be, you know, disagreements or incompatibilities. But if you expect them to change right away, or expect yourself to change right away, that's unrealistic. So I would recommend having healthy expectations and being patient about those expectations towards the other person. And if you have, if you adjust your expectations, you won't get too stressed out upon perceived disagreements and hopefully it'll be smooth. It'll be much less stressful.
Video 3 Transcript
I'm a Pacific Islander and my wife is Caucasian. She's from Utah. The common mistakes that I notice in our four years of marriage is about communication. Most of the time I will just assume that certain things that consider common sense in Tonga may not be considered common sense to a Caucasian or someone from Utah. That was a problem that we ran into in our marriage, but I've learned that it's important that you communicate well and it's always best to communicate and check on with each other to make sure that you're on the same page or that you understand each other well and that's a common mistake that I think interracial marriage face. Thank you.
Video 4 Transcript
So, I have two common mistakes that you make in marriage. One is bringing up, bringing up the past. Like, oh you did this months, months ago. If you've forgiven them, drop it. Move on. Don't bring up past follies. The other one is not respecting boundaries and that's a problem that I have is because I'm kind of an in-your-face person and very hyper and my husband has no boundaries. He's very patient and forgiving and I need to make my own boundaries because he just won't. So, something important is make your own boundaries and enforce them. Say, hey, that's not comfortable for me and then you have to realize, I have to realize, they're like, okay, that's something that they don't like and because I love them, I'm going to respect it. Even if it makes no sense to me, I'm going to do it because I love them.
Video 5 Transcript
A common mistake a lot of people make is to bash their spouse while they're not around just because their co-workers or friends or family are doing it. Never bash your spouse to other people.
Video 6 Transcript
Another common mistake is perhaps taking things for granted. It's always important to be grateful for the efforts a person makes and also not listening. It can be another common mistake. Really listening to what that person is saying, not only to the words they're saying, but where they're coming from, what kind of emotional or mental state they might be in to be saying something like that. It helps you to gauge where, you know, where ego is, if ego is being checked or unchecked, if an effort of a true effort is being made, how much should be recognized. There's a lot of that goes into listening. It's not only verbal, but also spiritual almost, I would say.
Video 7 Transcript
Always remember that the breakdown of relationships starts from that when we start making our own answer to the questions that arise because of our doubt. So, beware from that and don't make any decision from your side. Always communicate with your partner and talk him about the point and always be good relations. Thank you.
Video 8 Transcript
Just a general lack of miscommunication between the husband and wife. Always communicate with your partner. Come home with a smile on your face.
Video 9 Transcript
I think a big common mistake that I made is not understanding that people's love languages are different. My wife and I actually just we went one thing started happening to take our our personality test or I guess our our love language test. It was really cool to see the difference to see why we both reacted to certain situations in different ways whether they be not super positive or super negative and then going off that and going off that basis made it a lot easier for us to I guess understand how we work and understand what more we need to do for each other to help each other to build each other up to keep each other in good moods and to avoid negative things that will trigger us. So yeah that that was a big help that I feel like I would recommend everybody doing so they can avoid a lot of conflict not even conflict but just like a lot of confusion for the first part of your marriage.
