Video 1 Transcript
A common mistake a lot of people make is to bash their spouse while they're not around just because their co-workers or friends or family are doing it. Never bash your spouse to other people.
A common mistake a lot of people make is to bash their spouse while they're not around just because their co-workers or friends or family are doing it. Never bash your spouse to other people.
A common misconception about marriage is that once you get married it will solve all your problems. Now, buster, that is not true. You have to figure out your own problems before you get married. You have to be self-reliant. Especially emotionally, spiritually, you need to be self-reliant before you get married because you cannot lean on your spouse for everything that you need. Sometimes there are unique circumstances, but generally you need to be self-reliant. And that's a common misconception is that, oh, once I get married my spouse can solve all my problems. That's not true. You need to figure it out for yourself and then you can help each other. You can both lean on each other and rely on each other for support, but really you should be self-reliant yourself and be able to take care of yourself before you get married because otherwise you can't take care of another person.
I think some people worry when they get married that they will lose their independence and their freedom, which just isn't true. I can still do all the same things that I loved to do before I was married, but I can now do them with my husband too, with your best friend, which is so much fun. And you also have someone to try new things with as well. And so I feel like my own person, but I also feel like I have someone built in with me to go and do these things that I, you know, I wouldn't have been able to before, which is really fun.
So I'm speaking as someone who has been married. One of the biggest misconceptions for me and my ex-wife going into it was that everything has to be perfect or that you two have to be like tied together like one all the time. I think it's actually more important that you two let each other grow at your own paces and actually what will happen is over the years that you spend together that will naturally happen where you will grow together to be really strong through experiences that you have together. That's the biggest thing for us. Don't put any pressure on each other. That's never good and that's one of the biggest common misconceptions is that perfect that perfection or that perfectionist attitude when it comes to marriage or that you should be feeling lovey and giggly all the time. That's going to go away and I think that's okay.
