Blended family tips - Marriage Video Transcripts
Video 1 Transcript
When you're blending a family with your spouse, it's super important to have the talk about discipline and rules and chores in the house before you get the kids involved. And it's also super helpful to have the kids come up with reasonable consequences and rules on their own, because as a step parent, there may be some topics that are off limits to you as far as discipline or communication goes, and it really needs to be handled by the biological parent instead. So at a time that's convenient and calm and happy for everyone, it's a good idea to write down the scenarios that may happen or basic rules of the house with predetermined consequences, so it's all out on the table.
Video 2 Transcript
One of the most dangerous topics in a blended marriage is to get into the game of my kid versus your kid. And it's easy to do when tempers flare or you're faced with a really unusual or stressful parenting situation together in your marriage. So while it's easy to compare kids or to say my kid would never or your kid always, it's really a personal attack and it feels like a personal attack on the bio parent. So when it comes head to head and you have to make a decision with your spouse on one of the children or disciplining the children, I say rely first on the biological parent and their co-parent to help make those decisions. And then take a deep breath and don't take it personally because the goal at the end of the day is to have a happy loving household.
Video 3 Transcript
When you're blending a family or when you're in your second marriage, your spouse will sometimes have unpleasant conversations with the parent of their children or their ex-spouse and your natural inclination is going to be to get really angry and really defensive of your spouse and to kind of jump on the defense and take their side and that's not always the most helpful. Sometimes your spouse just needs you to hear and listen and acknowledge the conversation they had and it's not helpful to get defensive or to add more anger into the situation and to really give them the time and the space to walk through the conversation with you and be able to express their feelings.
Video 4 Transcript
I think a popular misconception in a second marriage or a blended family marriage is that you need to create this family and do everything together all the time and that's really not always the best decision. It's a really healthy and great idea to let your spouse have time with their children that doesn't involve you. That way they get to continue their familiar bond, they get to do activities and make memories together, and they get that really needed one-on-one time from a birth parent that makes a big difference in their memories and their development of every part of who they are as a human. So you don't need to do everything together. You can create great new traditions together, but let your spouse have the time and the space.
Video 5 Transcript
I think for blended families to work, it's really important for the biological parent to support the stepparent in parenting and being on the same page, whether that mean that the biological parent does all the parenting or the biological parent supports the stepparent in parenting as well.
