Safety advice

Safety advice that I would offer somebody that is dating in a new area, specifically like just in college, is to like not have somebody pick you up, especially if you've never met them before. Standard rule of thumb is if it's a first date, you're gonna want to meet them somewhere, just you know, like who knows, what if they pick you up and they're not who they say that they are and you just need to get out of a situation fast. Like you're gonna want your car, like it's just basic safety precautions, something that I was taught but I feel like everyone should know.

Video 2 Transcript

I think my safety advice for either person is just if someone makes you feel very uncomfortable initially or as you get to know them, I think the best thing to do is just to leave the situation. I feel like a lot of people feel awful because they're like ending something with this person all of a sudden and not really giving an explanation. Sometimes that's okay because we don't really know people's intentions and so we don't want to put ourselves in those dangerous situations where we're going to regret it later. If you get a bad feeling about someone up front, just end it. Just cut it off. Don't even, just ghost them. There's nothing wrong and it's not a sin to ghost someone if they're showing signs of red flags.

Video 3 Transcript

For the guys, keep it simple. Have a very clear beginning, a clear intention, and a clear ending. So like, let's go get some pizza, or let's have some ice cream. There's a definite location, there's clear operating hours when other people are going to be doing that exact same thing, and then a clear finish to this date is done once we've finished our food, and you are free to go on to the next thing. What you want to do is have the first couple scenarios that are full of as much familiarity as possible, so that the only thing that's new and different is you and them together, but everything else is something that's fairly routine, something that they've done a lot of times. I would do a lot to give them a sense of safety. Now, as you want to move things along, maybe you want to do something a little bit more private, a little bit more new, and you're not sure whether or not she's going to go for it, come up with two ideas. Hey, we can do this, or we can do that, and let her choose and be totally okay with whichever she chooses, and that will let you know how safe she's feeling.

Video 4 Transcript

For girls, especially if you're coming back from the gym, always check under your car because sometimes people hide under a car. It's a true story. So be careful.

Video 5 Transcript

I had to drive three hours for this date. There is a way to meet this person because I lived in South Carolina and he lived in Northern Virginia and so it was quite a distance. We met up in North Carolina. It was a three-hour drive for both of us and so what I did is I brought my brother and he wrote a date. So, highly recommend if you've never met the person and you have to drive a long distance. We went hiking in the woods so that's why I brought my brother and another date is because we would have been in the middle of nowhere. I'd never met this guy in person before so that was very safe for me. Highly recommend you meet in a public place if you're just meeting up with him. Have your phone fully charged and do not let him take your phone no matter what because if he takes your phone you don't have any way to contact anyone else. So, be safe!

Video 6 Transcript

Always tell somebody where you're going and what you're doing. Especially if you've never met the person before. Never go on a single date with somebody you don't know before- haven't met before. Especially because you don't know if they really are who they say they are and that can be a really scary thing. So either go on double dates when you're first meeting somebody and definitely always let somebody know where you're going, who you're going with, and like set a time saying, hey if I'm not back by this time, try calling me, try contacting me, just so you know I'm alive or that I'm safe. Also having keywords that you can just easily text to somebody so that they know you're in trouble, that's super helpful too.

Video 7 Transcript

When I was on planet, oh yes, planet, there is someone on there that I went out on date with and the rule is is that you go to a coffee shop or like a restaurant whatever and just have like dessert or something and just talk and just kind of get to know each other and you don't get in the car with them and you don't go anywhere with them you just meet them and you meet them at those places that are open with lots of people so that you are not alone and that your car is visible that if you need to get to your car right away and go you can do that. You want to make sure you're safe at all times and so anytime you feel uncomfortable it's okay to leave and if you have to ask the manager or ask someone to escort you out and pretend that they know you, you might be able to do that. I did that one time so it just depends. I know there was one guy that wanted to have me go in his car and I absolutely said no and I just got my car and left.

Video 8 Transcript

Of course, you can't run a background check on everyone you meet, but just be safe about it all. I mean, dating apps especially are huge today and you don't know who you'll meet, so before meeting them, make sure you get to know them.

Video 9 Transcript

Okay, so some safety advice geared for women. I would say make sure you tell people where you're going to be on your date. Bring your phone with you, you know, hopefully it has a tracking app or device on it like an iPhone does. Also, don't get into a car with a stranger who you don't know. So meet them at a public place and stay at the public place and then have your friend or family pick you up after you're done. Don't just trust someone that you've never met before if you're they want to be physical and you're not comfortable with it, leave the date, get away. It's a very bad sign in my opinion if someone is trying to be physical with you on your first or second date if they're not being respectful and they have ulterior motives. Also, I would say if you feel uncomfortable, if you feel like you shouldn't go on a date, don't go. If you feel like you need to leave, leave.

Video 10 Transcript

Hey, so my dating advice in terms of safety is pretty much to just not go on mutual dates with strangers and let them drive and don't invite them to your dorm room because there were some incidents last year when I lived in the dorms. I just heard about some things going on with that. So that's my main piece of advice is don't like meet up with a stranger somewhere alone or like let them know where you live, stuff like that. Give them control over where you're going by letting them drive you somewhere. That is my main advice. Also, a good idea would be to just like let your roommates know you or send your roommates your location or a good friend or something so they can just kind of keep an eye on that and if they aren't hearing from me after a while and they see you're in a good spot then they can be aware to investigate.

Video 11 Transcript

Hey, Nat here with some safety advice for the ladies. First, always have in mind a place that you would be comfortable going at any stage that you're at in a dating relationship. Most guys will want to take the liberty of the lead and kind of making those initial suggestions. And if he says something that's not public enough or is too unfamiliar because you haven't been there before for whatever reason, you don't feel comfortable going, it's much, much better to say, you know, that's a great idea. Maybe we can do that in a couple of weeks. What would work better for me tonight is if we went here and did this thing. Then the man feels like you're a partner in creating the relationship rather than shooting his suggestion down and making it his job again to come up with something new. And you also don't want to punish him for being unsafe just because there are other men that you may have dealt with who are not safe. So start with the benefit of the doubt, but come with a suggestion of someplace that would work for you rather than shooting down any of his suggestions. And then you can see how he responds.

Video 12 Transcript

There are a lot of people online that don't have the best intentions. If you have met this person for the first time, please do not go alone with them. It doesn't matter how safe they sound. Please double with someone, go somewhere where it's public, go somewhere where you're able to get out if needed. Don't have them drive you there, drive yourself. Just give yourself control there. So if you need to get out, you can get out quickly.

Video 13 Transcript

I think if you're going on a date, honestly any date, I think that you should give your location to one of your closest friends and tell them to like v-check in the location regularly just to make sure that nothing happens. I think it's always good to have someone who knows where you are, especially if you're going on like a date from a dating app, like someone that you don't really know, but you never know. So I think that's a good idea.

Video 14 Transcript

For a first date with somebody that you've met offline, meet in a public area and drive your own car. That way you don't have to worry about like if things start going weird or awkward or things get crazy. You have your own way to leave and then that way they don't know your home address and they can't stalk you or make things worse.

Video 15 Transcript

Always follow your instincts. I went on this date that he completely changed the plans on me. One second, we were supposed to be taking a drive in my car and then he brought his dog so that I didn't want a dog in my car. His car looked really sketchy and looked like it wouldn't make it very far. And then we started walking around town rather than taking a drive. And every time like the cops would like go by, he would like get farther and farther away from the road. It just so happens that my cousin was one of the cops and he was on a date around town and I told him what was going on. And the second I told him, oh it's probably just my cousin just keeping an eye on me, he jumped like three feet away from me. And then he almost tried to follow me home. I went the opposite direction and hid behind a different building and then my cousin followed him out of town. So always trust your instincts about whether or not something is sketchy.

Video 16 Transcript

So one thing that I do is a lot of the time when I go on a date with someone off of a dating app, I will share my location with one of my roommates just to make sure that they know where I am in case something goes wrong, then they can know that something's happening.

Video 17 Transcript

Of course, always carry like pepper spray with you. Always, always send your location to like three people before you go on a date, especially a first date. And especially if you're meeting that person for the first time, learn how to share your location. I was on my mission and we were taken by this man to this random apartment and it was really weird, really sketch. And we had like, I sent my location to my district leader so that he knew where we were. And the guy literally like tried to kidnap us. It was really scary. And my companions didn't know what to go, what to do. They also didn't know how to share their location. So they thought that we were all alone in this, but really our district leader was already on his way. We ended up getting out of the situation. You know, the spirit helps us a lot, but like, make sure you send your location in any situation because it really does save you and make sure you tell people how long you're going to be gone and what you're going to be doing.

Video 18 Transcript

So, I have two daughters. So, my best advice would be to them and to you, if you are a teenager, obviously your parents should know where you're at. Never go to someone's house alone, meet in a public place, go on a date in a public place, make sure you keep your phone, make sure someone knows where you're at. If you're not a teenager and you're an adult, don't think just because you're an adult that you're safe. Always let someone know where you're at, if that's a friend, if that's a brother, if that's whoever. Let people know where you're at, who you're going to be with, make sure they know their names or the person's name that you're going on a date with and yes, most definitely, meet in public.