Something that my mom's really good at is just remembering small details about my life, which maybe sounds like it would be hard to do, but it's never anything super big, but she just remembers simple things like the names of my friends or what I'm studying in my classes and she asks me about those things and that always makes me feel really loved.
How to be a good mother? Oh, that's a loaded question. I love it. I'm still learning after 28 years of being a mother and 10 children and four left at home. That is a continuous, eternal effort, is becoming a good mother. But I think for me, one of the greatest ways I've learned to become the mother that I'm trying to be, and I know God wants me to be, is to give myself a lot of grace. Heavenly Father didn't send mothers to the earth to be perfect mothers. He sent us here with a lot of mistakes and challenges and disabilities. And in that effort to overcome our challenges as we mother, and as we raise children that are also imperfect and make mistakes, therein lies the greatness with allowing God to be part of your experience as a mother every single day. And I'm so grateful for His grace and mercy and love and forgiveness of the mistakes we make.
So I am a fairly new mom. I have a two-year-old and one on the way, so the question of how to be a good mother is one that's always on my mind. But something that I have learned is that if I don't take care of myself, I definitely won't be a good mother. So taking care of yourself and making sure that your needs are being met so that your cup is full, so that you can give more to your children in the time that you do have with them, I think is really important. And it helps with all of the different attributes that you strive to have as a mother. If you're taking care of yourself, I feel like it's a lot easier to meet those attributes and have those attributes in yourself and then be a better example for your children.
I only have one little one so I'm not like an expert on this subject by any means but the thing I've realized is that I need to be more forgiving of myself as a mom. That in order to be a good mom I have to realize that I'm not perfect and that's okay and just of course correct when I realize there's something that isn't working for my family or for me. And also understanding that my son, he is way more forgiving of me than I am of myself. Like when I do something wrong he's forgotten it ten minutes later and doesn't remember it and so I can just dust it off, move on and just understand that you get better at it every day and that you're never gonna be perfect at it. But we just keep trying and working and doing everything that we can.
I would like to start by saying that I haven't showered in probably three days and I yelled at my kids two days ago and I cried with my kids two days ago and yesterday I had to call somebody for help to get my kids to sleep. I have a toddler and I have seven-month-old twin boys who just do not sleep well at all and they cry all the time. So all that being said, do you, just do you. You know what's best for your kids. You love your kids. People will give you all sorts of advice. Seriously, just do you and be patient and kind with yourself because you are doing the best that you can and that is how you be a good mother. So there you have it.
My tip for being a good mother, be honest with your children. I have two teenage boys and if I hide something from them and they can tell that I'm in distress, it stresses them out too. So be honest with your children and let them know what is going on. All you have to do is speak up and let them know. Kids are smarter than you think, and they always have been, and they always will be. They can tell when something's wrong. So be honest.
Hey you guys, I am Dr. Latarsha Holden, Georgia National Mother of the Year for 2020. I want to give you some tips on being, you know, what we consider good parenting. But I tell you, there's going to be some times our kids will think we're mean, we're stubborn, you know, they're not going to like our decisions, they're not going to want to obey our rules, but the thing is we're not here to be their friends. I have six children, three boys, three girls from 19 to 32, and from an early age, I made sure the boundaries were there. I'm not your friend, I am your mother, and you know, I'm here to to raise you so that you can become the best person that you can become and also become a decent citizen where you're productive in the community. And so being a good mother is just about giving your kids the best that you have to offer.