Blended family tips - Parenting Video Transcripts
Video 1 Transcript
So I lost my mom when I was 13 to cancer. So my dad got remarried when I was 15, so about two years later. It was something that was really hard for me to accept at first, but eventually I had to just understand that, I feel like I was looking at my stepmom in a way that she was replacing my mom, whereas really she was just an addition to our family and she wasn't there to replace my my mom and undermine my entire family. She was just there to help and to be a support system and to be there for my dad and my family and to love us. And so that was something that really helped me going into a blended family.
Video 2 Transcript
Becoming a part of a blended family is really just having more people to love you and to love that you can love and that's something that really changed my perspective on things because it just grew my support system even more and I was really fortunate enough to have those people that loved me so much and that I love today so.
Video 3 Transcript
My name is Jeff Hill and my wife and I are blending a family with 12 children and I'd like to share a couple of bits of advice. First is it's unrealistic to blend a family. We like to think of it as a stewed family, not a blended family. It's important that each of the original families keep their identities but you're in a special sauce that brings you together as a blended family. Another important tip is that each parent should discipline their biological children, not the stepchildren. It's hard enough to be a stepparent and disciplining rarely works out. I will tell you that blending a family or stewing a family is very difficult but very worth it.
Video 4 Transcript
With a blended family of five kids, it's really hard to make dinner that everyone's going to eat and everyone's going to like. We have a range, a wide range, of what kids find yummy and what kids find disgusting. So we do a lot of make your own dinner bars at our house. So make your own pasta bar, top your own baked potato, make your own burger or your own sandwich. So that way you're still providing lots of great healthy options and the kids have some control over what they put on their plate. And whatever they put on their plate, we usually make them finish and we usually make them try a little bit of everything. We call it scout's bites. So you have to eat at least one bite full of whatever's out for dinner, whether it's a vegetable or something else that looks something like you don't want to try or you don't want to eat. It's a great way to introduce your kids to new foods.
Video 5 Transcript
One of the biggest mistakes I made as a blended parent was I just assumed that all of the kids would enjoy sharing clothes and toys and other items in the house and I don't know what I was thinking because even though siblings biological siblings are kind of expected to share it almost amps it up another level when there's step kids involved and all of my kids are in the same age range and so you got to keep in mind that not only are there different styles that they each like but if someone loses a favorite shirt or some other really special item all hell will break loose and forget about toys it's best to buy a couple of everything and to keep the toys separate and to make sure your kids get in the habit of only playing with those items if the other siblings there and asking permission to touch
Video 6 Transcript
No matter what the situation is or how totally crappy your ex-spouse is or your stepkid's biological parent is, never, never disparage them. You need to keep that private. You need to keep it locked up. If you need to vent about it, call a friend. But it does more damage than good. And while you may be expressing your feelings of anger or frustration, don't do it in front of the kids. That's their parent. It's their beloved person in their life, regardless of the relationship. And when you tear someone else down, it really, really just hurts the kids and does nothing to benefit anyone. So try to keep it positive and try to keep it private. You'll thank yourself in the long run.
Video 7 Transcript
One of my favorite tips for blended families and parenting is to, around the holiday season, get your calendar together with your ex-partners or ex-spouses to make sure that you have everything down. Every family party, every concert, every gathering, anything that you want to participate in as a family. That way you're never caught up with any surprises of where your kids are supposed to be and with which parent and where they're celebrating. You can prepare them better for what plans are in store. You can prepare yourself better with what you need to provide your kids to feel safe and happy. And last but not least, you can always make sure that they're wearing the right thing to the right event.
Video 8 Transcript
When it's time for the holidays or birthday celebration, remember to be flexible in your plans or dates. It really doesn't matter in the long run if you're celebrating on a specific day. What matters is the time that you're spending with your family and with your children. It's also a great idea to connect with your former spouse to figure out what the budget might be for spending money on presents or gifts or what they might be getting as far as presents or gifts. Don't be ashamed or feel bad if your gift isn't as spectacular or if you have a lower budget to buy presents for your kids because again it really doesn't matter in the long run. The best gift you can give your children is yourself and the time you spend with them, quality time, rather than the price tag of the present. Try to keep the lines of open communication and celebrate everything.
Video 9 Transcript
When you first become a blended family, it's really tempting to try and hold on to a few things that used to be normal in your former life. And one of those is like saying goodnight to your kids every night. It actually becomes really disruptive if you force your kids to call you and say goodnight every night. Your former spouse really resents the calls and the kids usually kind of see it as a chore and it becomes disruptive to their routine. And at the end of the day, it's really serving you and your need and really not the kids' needs. And the same could be said when your children go to visit their other biological parents' house. That's the best time to really leave them alone and let them have time to bond with their other parent and minimize calls. In fact, I wouldn't do any. I usually let my kids call me because I promise they miss you and they'll call you.
