I find the hardest aspects of having depression are motivation. It takes me a lot to get in the shower. It takes me a lot to do housework. It takes me a little bit to get out each day after I wake up, just to get myself going, that sort of thing.
I think for me the hardest aspect of depression is the motivation. Finding motivation to get up, to get things done, to get to work, to want to do things that you used to love. You have to force it. It doesn't just come naturally and that's really hard.
One of the hardest aspects for me about depression was I found myself disengaging with the world around me and I just lost interest in things that I love to do usually and I wasn't reaching out to people that I like some close friends and family and I was letting my relationships die and that was really hard because usually those are the things that help you get out of it but I just simply wasn't in the right headspace to maintain those things and so just with that I think we all have our times and seasons and we just need to have a hopeful perspective for the future.
I find the hardest aspect is having to explain yourself, having to, especially to family and close friends and when you suddenly become ill or you suddenly lose a job or you just feel, you feel helpless and useless and you're not sure of your next step forward and you don't like to lean on people, but then people try to be over helpful and it's just the accepting and this is the hardest aspect I find and it's like people don't understand why you need to be quiet, why you want to be quiet. I personally found having depression in the past that I needed that time to be alone, to be low, to realise how I can get back up.
I'd say the hardest part for me has really been the fact that no one can see what's going on inside of you and how dark you're really feeling on the inside because you could even be smiling. It's really hard for people to be there for you because they just can't see it and that's why I found it really helpful to to talk about how I'm feeling. I've always been an open person and that's really helped me be able to get those things out there and find support, but I'd say it's really hard because like a lot of mental things, it just can't be seen. It just doesn't appear to other people.
One of the hardest aspects for me when it comes to depression is when people would say like, oh just choose to be happy, like happiness is a choice. And I think to some extent it is, but when you're depressed and you physically can't even get out of bed and you're just in this deep state of just loneliness and sadness, there's really no choice in the matter. And I think that's something that I really had to learn to accept and to realize that like, it's not always a choice and it's a choice to get help and it's a choice to take the steps to get better, but it's not always a choice to be happy when you're depressed.