Infertility – Lifey

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Here’s a free collection of resources about infertility- Infertility blogs, videos, support groups, first-hand experiences and advice from people who have infertility, etc.

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Infertility Blogs

Here’s a list of infertility blogs- blogs written by people with infertility, or about infertility.

****Email alexbalinski@gmail.com to submit your blog to this list.***

Almost Pregnant	almostpregnant.blog	2018
Bubbles and Bumps	bubblesandbumps.com	2017
The Infertility Journey	theinfertilityjourney.com	2017
Amateur Nester	amateurnester.com	2017
Don’t Count Your Eggs	dontcountyoureggs.typepad.com	2017
No Bun in the Oven	nobunintheoven.com	2017
In Due Time	in-due-time.com	2017
Dreaming of Diapers	dreamingofdiapers.com	2017
Scary Mommy	scarymommy.com	2017

Infertility Support Groups

Infertility Support Groups On Facebook

Other Infertility Support Groups And Forums

Daily Strength Infertility Support Group (1,264 members, 29,438 posts)

Infertility Survey

We’re surveying people about their experiences with infertility. Here will be a collection of their responses.

*This information is not meant to replace medical advice, and the information gathered via surveys may or may not be correct. Hopefully it will be helpful to you!

*Response format = Answer (Name, Age)

**Click here to share your experience with infertility**

Infertility Facts

What are some facts you’ve learned about infertility?

Because of the diverse reasons for infertility, there are more people around me who have suffered through infertility, than I ever thought. (Jessica, 24 years old)
I have PCOS. (Laura, 26 years old)
Ovulation must occur for pregnancy. You can have a period and not ovulate. Clomid doesn’t work for everyone! (Katy, 26 years old)
There are several different kinds of infertility. Some are from the dad, others from the mom, but all are hard to deal with. (Kencie B., 28 years old)
Getting pregnant is not easy as people think. One can only understand infertility if you go through it. (Subira, 28 years old)
Difficult, painful, disappointment, tears, sadness, determination, strength. (Onikepo, 28 years old)
It affects a lot more people than I thought! It’s not just women. (Brittany, 31 years old)
I’ve learned about male factor infertility, low/diminished ovarian reserve, how diet/exercise can affect fertility. (Tedi, 31 years old)
There are so many little things that can go wrong, that make it hard/impossible to make a baby. (Stephanie, 31 years old)
1 in 8 miscarry. 40% chance of success for IVF is normal. Fallopian tubes that have had an ectopic pregnancy in them impede implantation 50% of the time, and should be removed. PCOS originates in the brain, and it’s not an ovary malfunctioning. 40% of patients can use minimal intervention, and get pregnant. (Katie, 32 years old)
I now know way more than I ever wanted to about the inner workings of my own reproductive system. I’ve also learned that male infertility is just as common as female infertility. (Jeanne, 32 years old)
How many little steps go into getting pregnant. (Mandy, 35 years old)
It’s not my fault. The science behind it can only take you so far. It’s expensive financially, physically and emotionally. (Tia, 36 years old)
How to eat healthy, and exercise every day to lose weight to start back TTC. (LaToya, 37 years old)
It is expensive to treat and not always covered by insurance. (Robin, 38 years old)
I’ve learned about causes of infertility (genetics, lifestyle, environment, foods, etc.). I’ve learned about various treatments (pills, shots, surgical procedures); I’ve also learned some other aspects that aren’t immediately learned with IVF treatments, like difficulties carrying, increased chances of pre-eclampsia or miscarriage. (Bill, 39 years old)

Infertility Difficulties

What are the hardest aspects of living with infertility?

Imagining “if I get pregnant this month, I’ll have a baby in that month”. (Alli, 23 years old)
I feel broken, not being able to accomplish something so natural. It is also a very private journey for many, so I feel isolated. (Jessica, 24 years old)
All the waiting. (Laura, 26 years old)
Not being able to expand my love with my husband, and have a baby. (Katy, 26 years old)
Not knowing what is wrong. (Kayla, 26 years old)
You have to go into debt to start your family, when people have abortions all day long. (Kencie B., 28 years old)
Undergoing treatment with hopes then seeing my periods it breaks me down. (Subira, 28 years old)
Seeing ones period month after month, after going thru a lot for you not to see it. (Onikepo, 28)
Everyone that says things like “when are you going to have kids!” Or “you need more” or “did you do IVF?” (Brittany, 31 years old)
Seeing others’ kids grow up, and realizing that you would’ve had the same age children if you had had a child when you first started trying. (Tedi, 31 years old)
Watching everyone around me living my dream (of being a mom) and never knowing if it will happen for me. (Stephanie, 31 years old)
Intrusive questions about extremely personal treatments from outsiders, cost of treatments, insurance denial of a malfunctioning body part (any other part malfunctioning, and they would cover it- reproductive, the answer is “no”). (Katie, 32 years old)
The feelings of social isolation and exclusion can be overwhelming, and they increase exponentially each year. It is hard to make friends, because they can’t relate to me, and I’m not at the mommy hangouts, so they don’t get to know me beyond the surface small talk. I can only describe infertility and its treatments as torture: physical, emotional and mental. Each trauma or failure builds up in my psyche, and my reactions to bad news can surprise me. I feel more and more like a damaged snowflake, because of the growing PTSD. (Jeanne, 32 years old)
The magnitude of emotions that you have to deal with. (Mandy, 35 years old)
Availability of legit information. (Elka, 36 years old)
The toll it takes emotionally. (Tia, 36 years old)
Emotional. (Melissa, 36 years old)
PCOS, and not conceiving on my own. (LaToya, 37 years old)
The older you get the more you feel like it won’t ever happen and you can have a sense of hopelessness. You try to act okay, but inside you want to just cry. Most women don’t understand what I’m going through and don’t know what to say or they say awful things. (Robin, 38 years old)
It’s hard to live with (even naturally, I felt like a freak of nature, and completely powerless and isolated), it was so frustrating to watch my wife unable to enjoy a pregnancy without medical help (I couldn’t get her pregnant, so it was hard watching her “pay the price” for my problems). And unless others had experienced it themselves, nobody would understand, or even seem to care. (Bill, 39 years old)
Thinking that you are useless because you are not a mother and everyone expects you to just “be patient and relax” then they tell me about someone they knew who had a child after 45 after they had already had 2. (Lisa, 41 years old)

Infertility Advice

What words of encouragement/advice can you share with others who experience infertility?

Try to stay busy, and surround yourself with people who know your struggles, so you can confide with them. (Alli, 23 years old)
Don’t be afraid to voice concerns with your doctor early on. No question or concern is stupid. You know your body well. (Jessica, 24 years old)
Count your blessings. We have so much already to be grateful for. (Katy, 26 years old)
Take it a day at a time, and don’t jump too far into the future. (Kayla, 26 years old)
There’s no fault, so don’t place any blame. Get a second opinion if something feels off. (Kencie B., 28 years old)
That hope at the beginning of a new cycle especially after period is what keep me moving. (Subira, 28 years old)
Just hang in there, I am still hanging in there myself. (Onikepo, 28 years old)
Try not to take what people say to heart. Most people don’t know that it can be insensitive, because to most other people, it isn’t. Most people don’t know that you hear those things, and struggle constantly, because they don’t hear it. (Brittany, 31 years old)
“You can do hard things”, and “don’t ever give up”. (Tedi, 31 years old)
You are not alone. (Stephanie, 31 years old)
Educate yourself. You need to know. What works for others may not work for you. And sometimes the accepted treatment will not work for you. My PCOS was not managed with the accepted treatment, an OTC supplement managed my PCOS better than the typical treatment. (Katie, 32 years old)
Be as open with your support system as you are able to be. Of course it opens up the potential for people to say dumb things, but I have found that I’d rather have someone who says all the wrong things but is actively engaged, than someone who might care, but never reaches out for fear of saying the wrong thing. When you’re already in a position that makes you feel forgotten and lonely, sometimes it just helps to be acknowledged. (Jeanne, 32 years old)
Find an outlet in order to process everything you will go through. From support groups to keeping a journal. Sometimes you will feel alone and having a refuge can help center you. (Mandy, 35 years old)
Be patient and loving to yourself. (Elka, 36 years old)
Don’t give up, have faith to keep trying, and keep hoping. (Tia, 36 years old)
Try staying focused, and try not to stress about anything. (LaToya, 37 years old)
You’re not the only one suffering and to keep your heart from growing bitter. Be happy for those who are blessed with children. (Robin, 38 years old)
There is hope. It may be costly, but anything is possible. In my case, inability to ejaculate coupled with my body killing off sperm…nobody was optimistic. But after years of trying and getting medical help, we finally found success. And while the journey is long and hard, there is always that possibility, and only the strongest of us can live with this and continue to survive life. (Bill, 39 years old)
Be accepting of your situation and to feel sorry for yourself. (Lisa, 41 years old)

Infertility Diet and Exercise

What’s been your experience with diet and exercise?

You will feel better if you exercise and eat right. (Alli, 23 years old)
Improves my spirits if nothing else. (Jessica, 24 years old)
I actually hit a high weight of 266.5, and in February 2017 I had weight loss surgery. As of June 2017, I’m down 71.5 pounds. I’m biking to work now, and hoping this can help resolve my PCOS. (Laura, 26 years old)
Small portions, gym membership. (Kayla, 26 years old)
We are a pretty healthy family, so none that had affected our fertility. (Kencie B., 28 years old)
I don’t have issues with these two. (Onikepo, 28 years old)
I’m a runner and everyone was always concerned with my running (losing weight, losing your period, and how running can cause the embryo to not implant) and not being able to get pregnant – but for me running/exercise wasn’t the cause of my infertility. We’ve also been on a low carb (on and off) diet for the past two years, and we both feel great. (Tedi, 31 years old)
They can be very hard, but helpful in my particular type of infertility. (Stephanie, 31 years old)
Good for me, it doesn’t help with my infertility diagnosis and management. (Katie, 32 years old)
I have always been moderately active, and had good eating habits. I haven’t changed anything for the purpose of being more fertile, besides some pineapple, avocado, and coconut water to help implantation post-IVF. If anything, infertility and IVF/miscarriage has worsened my overall health, because I’m more prone to eating junk food, and sitting around. This is sometimes due to the drug side effects, or doctor’s limitations on my physical activity, but sometimes it’s just due to depression. (Jeanne, 32 years old)
Not the best. I swing back and forth. I started walking years ago, and that has helped give me a steady regime. I’m a emotional eater, so that often sabotages me. (Mandy, 35 years old)
I have always eaten a healthy diet and as a dancer have been physically fit, so those weren’t factors for me. (Tia, 36 years old)
Eating healthy, and not over eating. (LaToya, 37 years old)
I have been off and on diets most of my adult life. (Robin, 38)
In my case, diet and exercise had absolutely NOTHING to do with my problem. (Bill, 39 years old)

Infertility Treatments

What’s been your experience with treatments (medications, operations, etc.)?

It’s expensive!!! (Alli, 23 years old)
I have unexplained infertility. Lots of tests, but not very many treatments, because we can’t figure out what is wrong. (Jessica, 24 years old)
Uterine hysteroscopy, six failed femera cycles, one failed clomid, ovulation kits. We didn’t get too far, and didn’t want to pursue more aggressive treatments until I was a healthier weight. (Laura, 26 years old)
Clomid makes me fuzzy, HSG’s arent bad! (Katy, 26 years old)
Clomid. (Kayla, 26 years old)
We have had several of: clomid, progesterone injections, estradiol, iui, ivf and icsy. (Kencie B., 28 years old)
Treatment for fertility is expensive especially in Kenya and the side effects caused by hormonal medicine. God help us. (Subira, 28 years old)
TVs, prolactin level high (cabergoline), clomid… (Onikepo, 28 years old)
Chloride, femera, follistem, metformin, trigger shot, HSG. (Brittany, 31 years old)
Since part of our infertility was male factor, we did a study that the University of Utah has been undergoing with folic acid and zinc. It worked to improve male factor. Overall, we women put our bodies through so much and it can be expensive and heartbreaking when you’ve invested so much of your time and money into trying to get pregnant. (Tedi, 31 years old)
No luck so far. (Stephanie, 31 years old)
Metformin for PCOS – didn’t work. D-chiro-inositol and Myo-inositol did manage my PCOS. Removal of tube where ectopic pregnancy was to stop impeding implantation. Take lots of supplements just in case. Got a chem pregnancy that didn’t stick. Re-current miscarriage also now an official diagnosis. Failed Femara and self monitoring rounds, failed TICs, failed IUIs, next step IVF. (Katie, 32 years old)
TTC for almost three years. Our infertility is male factor, so IVF with ICSI was the only option short of donor sperm or adoption. I have had two hysteroscopies to remove polyps before each IVF cycle. First transfer resulted in miscarriage, so that added more procedures, pain and trauma to the growing list. One fresh cycle and one frozen soon. Lots of shots as would be expected with IVF, and progesterone suppositories are tons of fun, too! (Jeanne, 32 years old)
I’ve taken Femara, Gonal-F and trigger shots, and have done IUIs. (Mandy, 35 years old)
They are emotionally and physically hard. (Elka, 36 years old)
Clomid. (LaToya, 37 years old)
I had a hysterosalpingogram done which showed I was fine although I had irregular periods my whole life. I had surgery last year and found I had a cyst and several smaller cysts on my left ovary. The left ovary was also stuck to my pelvic wall and once released there was endometriosis all over behind it. I had my ovary drilled and the endometriosis burned away. I had a polyp at the entrance to my right fallopian tube which was removed. I have had regular periods ever since and have begun to ovulate on my own. I have tried a couple drugs but just for a short time and hated it. (Robin, 38 years old)
No medications would help…but I had two different operations done. The first one was an utter failure; the second one had just enough success in it to provide us with our son. (Bill, 39 years old)
Depends on the treatment and the operation. I’ve been on mess that mess with my hormones and make my depression worse and have had good success with an operation for endometriosis. (Lisa, 41 years old)

Infertility Recommendations

Anything you’d recommend for someone with infertility?

Don’t compare yourself to others’ successes. Everyone is different and has a different path. (Alli, 23 years old)
Find other people going through it. Don’t get mad at pregnant woman. Find joy in the journey, whatever that means to you. (Laura, 26 years old)
Be patient. (Katy, 26 years old)
Find a doctor you can build a relationship with. (Kayla, 26 years old)
Look around, don’t believe the first doctor you talk to. (Kencie B., 28 years old)
Let’s support each other. (Onikepo, 28 years old)
Patience. And talk to others. (Brittany, 31 years old)
Be your own advocate, ask lots of questions, do your own research. If you feel uneasy about something with your doctor, then speak up- it’s your body. (Tedi, 31 years old)
Find somewhere you can find support and be able to vent when times are hard. (Stephanie, 31 years old)
Don’t wait to see a specialist. OBGYNs aren’t specialists, they may be able to do some of the treatment, and prescribe the meds, but it really should be an RE doing them. Find others around you who are in the same boat, and be able to talk to them. (Katie, 32 years old)
Learn as much as you can. Even the best doctors don’t explain things in plain English sometimes, and it helps so much to familiarize yourself with the lingo before you’re sitting in a consultation wondering what in the world it all means. (Jeanne, 32 years old)
Seeing an RE as soon as you know you have a problem. Seeing a specialist early can help put you on the right path. Be your own advocate. Know your limits. It’s okay to take a break to breath. Be hopeful, but realize everything may not go as planned. (Mandy, 35 years old)
Be patient. (Elka, 36 years old)
Have faith, and don’t give up hope. (LaToya, 37 years old)
Keep hoping even though it’s hard. (Robin, 38 years old)
Seek out professionals that SPECIALIZE in infertility; don’t waste time and money, because there will be many doctors that will try to help, and many times, they themselves don’t fully know the scenario. It may cost a little more to see an infertility specialist, but you’re more likely to have immediate success, and you’ll avoid all the co-pays of regular doctors that can’t help. (Bill, 39 years old)
Find a really good councilor. (Lisa, 41 years old)

Infertility Resources

What specific resources have you found most helpful?

Community groups for support. (Jessica, 24 years old)
Infertility support groups. (Laura, 26 years old)
Facebook groups. (Katy, 26 years old)
Nothing really, I wish there were more. (Kencie B., 28 years old)
Nothing really….We just keep trying till it happens. (Onikepo, 28 years old)
Talking with other people. (Brittany, 31 years old)
BEATInfertility Podcast. (Tedi, 31 years old)
Online infertility support groups. (Stephanie, 31 years old)
LDS Infertility Support Group and LDS Secondary Infertility Support Group, RESOLVE. (Katie, 32 years old)
I have found a great support system in the Utah Infertility Resource Center Support Group on Facebook. I don’t know any of the members personally, but it’s so nice to post a question about something I’m dealing with, especially when the clinic is closed and it’s not an emergency. It’s also helpful to just hang in the background and read others’ posts and comments. After almost a year in the group, things I read about have become relevant to me later, and I already had a basic understanding of some of my options. My other favorite resource is my podcasts. I started out subscribing to the Beat Infertility podcast, but soon switched that out for Sarah’s Laughter which takes a faith-based approach. A lot of what I understood about different diagnoses before I got to the RE, came from Sarah’s Laughter. (Jeanne, 32 years old)
Online support groups. (Mandy, 35 years old)
Support groups. (Elka, 36 years old)
Resolve.org. (Tia, 36 years old)
Reading and meditation. (LaToya, 37 years old)
Facebook groups. (Robin, 38)
Infertility support groups, both in your community and online. Find fertility clinics near you, find out their success rates (use good judgment, of course), and ask them thoroughly about financing options, costs- all that good stuff. And people online will oftentimes have knowledge of resources, because they’ve done it themselves. (Bill, 39 years old)
A support group (Lisa, 41 years old)

Infertility Stories

Share an experience you’ve had related to living with infertility.

Went to an OBGYN at age 22 with concerns after a year of trying to conceive, and not having any luck. She told me I was so young and had plenty of time. I waited another year before gathering up the courage to see a specialist. I felt so much better at this visit. The doctor listened to my concerns, really mapped things out, and put together a game plan. No success yet, but we are not giving up. (Jessica, 24 years old)
My biggest irrational experience with infertility has been with a family friend. She got pregnant at the same time I did, only I miscarried, and haven’t conceived since. She, on the other hand, is now expecting her second, and posts on social media constantly with the complaints and joys of motherhood. I’d give anything to be in her place. (Laura, 26 years old)
Miscarriage. (Kayla, 26 years old)
All my friends and family like to say we just didn’t try long enough. I even ruined my relationship with my in-laws, because I didn’t wait long enough in their opinion. (Kencie B., 28 years old)
Everyone around me says just relax it will come and I am like you have children you can’t understand my desperation. (Subira, 28 years old)
Having a late period, and already it had happened and then it shows. Always hurts. (Onikepo, 28 years old)
Sharing my experience has given so much hope and encouragement to others. It’s nice when women reach out to me, and tell me that because I shared my journey they didn’t give up, and they can see the light at the end of the tunnel. (Tedi, 31 years old)
I had to mourne the life I thought I would have. The children I thought I would have. I had to learn to be ok with just me and my husband. We choosing to make ourselves happy is different from couples with children. We focus on our relationship more, travel more, do experiences with just us more. I had to learn to be fulfilled in other aspects of my life. I volunteer errands with a children’s charity that blesses the lives of sick children. It helps me feel accomplished and worth while outside of my marriage. (Katie, 32 years old)
I was at my husband’s work party and a sweet woman who I didn’t know approached us. We were in a loud arcade, and it was difficult to hear each other. Once I realized she was speaking Spanish I told my husband that she was asking if we would pray with her. We agreed and were surprised when she dropped to her knees in the middle of the arcade, and started praying loudly for us in Spanish, holding our hands as we stood on either side of her. In the prayer she said that we desired a baby, and prayed that God would bless us the child that we desired. I was so dumbfounded, and bawled all the way through her prayer. Once she finished and stood up, I hugged her and thanked her as best as I could in Spanish for the beautiful blessing, and she walked away. My husband guessed that she was the mother of one of the foremen at his work. He had asked my husband once why we don’t have any kids, and he answered that we have been trying. Regardless of who she was, or how she knew about our struggles, it was so inspiring and uplifting to know that there are people like her in the world who will plead with heaven for complete strangers that the desires of their heart will be realized. She was a pure example of love and selflessness, and I believe she was prompted to do that as a message to us that God loves us, and has not forgotten us. (Jeanne, 32 years old)
My second pregnancy which resulted in my second miscarriage has put me in a motherhood limbo, if you will. I lost my daughter at 16 weeks 5 days due to an incompetent cervix. I actually gave birth to her, but it was too early for her to survive. While I know that I have had a child, I don’t feel like a mom. So I get to balance the feeling of failure, with the deep desire to have another baby, with the agony of knowing that the journey is long. (Mandy, 35 years old)
My older sister got pregnant after 9 yrs of infertility and I was so happy for her. Then my younger sister found out she was pregnant about 4 months later. I am the only one in my family who hasn’t had kids. I chose to be happy for both of them, but I had to make it a conscious effort. (Robin, 38 years old)
My wife and I had been trying to conceive for six solid years; earlier in my life, I knew that I had ejaculated, but since getting married, there had been no ejaculations. I had to watch my poor wife suffer month after month, hoping and hoping for the children she so longed for (and that I couldn’t provide). We went to ob/gyns, regular doctors, urologists, did tons of meds and procedures…and absolutely nothing. Then, one day, someone mentioned a urologist that specializes in infertility, along with “reproductive endocrinologist” (an ob/gyn that specializes in infertility). So I immediately asked for a referral to the specialized urologist; within 10 minutes, he knew the problem and how to bypass it (because it’s unfixable). I did a surgical procedure, only to find out that my body was killing off all sperm that was produced, and we would need to try it a second (and last) time, but have donor sperm present as well in case they couldn’t find any live sperm. So my wife did the IVF stuff (all the shots and pills), they retrieved her eggs…and found just enough live sperm of mine for the eggs they collected. Out of all 24 eggs that were fertilized, we managed to get five viable embryos; two were transferred, and the remaining three were frozen. We just now welcomed our son into our lives, at the 7th year after starting to try to conceive. The pregnancy was somewhat rocky, but having had our son with us for a month now, it was so very much worth it. And having that miracle child has definitely eased the pain of infertility; we still live in fear somewhat, but it’s drastically lessened. (Bill, 39 years old)
I once thought I was pregnant only to find out I had PCOS. Then had my pregnant obgyn tell me that I had other issues as well. (Lisa, 41 years old)